Pride Month

It is pride month: a time to commemorate how far we have come since the Stonewall Riots while also acknowledging how far we have to go.  As a person who embraces differences, I feel a sense of kinship even though I am not part of this community.

My parents were Holocaust survivors.  I am a first generation American.  Although I grew up here with a great life, on the inside I have always identified with difference and persecution.  You cannot psychologically escape these experiences when you are the child of a survivor.  This reflects more than just gender orientation; it reflects how intolerance towards any kind (religious, racial, age, political affiliation – especially now, and etc.) causes so much tragedy in our world. These are some examples of the larger, or ‘macro’ topics.

I see it happening regularly on a ‘micro’ level, as well.  The judgments that people have when they experience others who act differently than they do is astounding to me.

Off the top of my head...

Stay at home mother versus working mother.  Breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding.  Parenting techniques.  Do you or don’t you drink?  Do you or don’t you recycle?  Are you a vegan, vegetarian or meat eater?  Do you believe in climate change?  Have you given up plastic straws yet?  Who did you vote for?  You name it…

The reality is that judgments are based on a person’s own feelings of insecurity and a reflection of their self worth. 

Tolerance goes hand in hand with self-awareness.  There are two types of people:

There are people who feel good about their choices.   They do not care what others do or think.  They do not take out their insecurities on others and they can have conversations where differences are acknowledged without an argument.  These are the people who are doing (or have done) the work and can effectively identify what the actual feeling is.

Then there are the people who are arguing all the time.  They need everyone to do just as they do and live just as they live. They are constantly commenting on others.  These are the people who are unaware of their own insecurities and/or avoid them at all costs.  They need the outside validation to feel okay about themselves. For them, it is easier to hate and make others feel oppressed than to experience their own feelings.

My advice for those of you who have been on the receiving end of intolerance: do your best to rise above.  Instead of meeting them where they are, walk away.  I believe the people who are filled with this hate are the people who have the most soul searching to do.